3 Tips To RV Caravaning With Friends (Without Driving Each Other Nuts)
I had a special request to write my “how to” post on caravaning with friends a little early, and decided to jump on it. We’re not done with our current buddies (so, we have yet to see if we go nuts), but I’m placing good money on the fact that we’re going to be A-OK when we finally decide to part ways. You see, we’ve got a really good partnership going with a keen understanding of each other’s needs, which is pretty much the core of what this traveling together business is all about.
For those who’ve never heard the term, “caravaning” means several RV’s traveling together over a period of time. There are big organizations like FMCA, Escapees etc. who organize formal caravans to specific locations (e.g. Mexico is a popular one, especially for first-timers) and then there are informal caravans that happen when RVers meet and either plan or spontaneously decide to travel along together for a while. We’ve only ever done the second kind and it’s always been a fun experience. We’ve caravaned together with folks for as short as a week to as long as several months, and in groups of up to 3-4 rigs.
Of course part of our traveling happiness is that we’ve always traveled with folks we like and feel we have stuff in common with. But even then, most of the folks we’ve caravanned with have been “RV budddies” that we’ve only known for short times (sometimes just a few days!) before we decided to hitch up together.
So, how do you manage this without driving each other nuts??? What if you end up hating each other? What if your new buddies have weird all-night happy hour habits you never knew about? The key, in my mind, is communication and keeping things loose. Even if things don’t work out between you, setting expectations up-front can help to ease along the process and ensure you have an “out” if you need it. Here’s my top 3 tips on how to make that happen:
1/ Know Thyself
Sounds rather prophetic and deep doesn’t it? Seriously though, knowing yourself and your own (or your family) limits is the first key to establishing a base of operation with your RV buddies. If you’re the kind of person who needs a lot of alone time (kinda us), or you’re the type who will only go to places that are dog-friendly (yup, that’s us), or you don’t drink (errr, not us), or you hate pot lucks (ho hum) this is important stuff to share with your RV buddies. Can you handle being around people day-to-day? Are you the kind who likes everything organized ahead of time? Do you like to sight-see everyday? Or, do you prefer more home-days and a casual, laid-back itinerary? Do you need alot of personal “space”? This is really the basis to #2 and setting expectations with your buddies. The more you know yourself and your own likes & needs, the happier you are going to be in the company of others when those needs are met.
2/ Talk With Your Buddies & Set Expectations
They say most things in life can be resolved through good communication, and I do believe that’s true. Once you’ve grilled yourself on the questions in #1 it’s time to have a casual talk with your RV caravan buddies and set expectations for the road ahead. Even if you’re part of a “formal” caravan you can always talk to the wagon master about some of these concerns before you sign up.
a) Traveling Together – Decide ahead of time if you want to travel from spot to spot as a team or go at separate times & meet-up when you get there. Some people like the “togetherness” of being on the road within view of each other, while others will literally go nuts with this arrangement. We’ve tried both and have decided we really prefer to travel separately. We have a different pace than most folks -> we rarely leave a place before 10am, we sometimes like to take a different route (maybe a back road) and we don’t like to stop for rests along the way. That’s just our style. The last thing we want is the frustration of waiting for another RV or stopping along the way when we’re itching to keep going. So, we tell our buddies “we’ll just meet you there”, and that works best for us. For those that like to stay in “sight” without actually being in sight, there are plenty of apps that allow you to keep track of each other without chaining yourselves to each other’s travel pace. We particularly like the “Find My Friends” app (available on Apple & Android) and use that, together with texting to stay connected on the road. Some folks use CB Radio’s, while others just rely on plain ‘old cellphone calls.
b) Parking Together – Most folks will chose to park together when they travel together, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be side-by-side. If you’re boondocking you might chose a site a little ways away from your neighbor, or if you’re in an RV park you might decide to park opposite your friends. If you really need your “space” talk about it up-front so your buddies know it’s not personal when you park a little bit away from them.
c) Eating & Drinking Together – RVers like to socialize and the vast majority of RV caravans have many “happy hours” and pot lucks. Some even organize get-togethers every night! If you are a happy-hour-every-evening kind of person ask your buddies if they would like that too. If you prefer to eat in groups, talk about that. If you prefer to eat alone, share that info with your buddies too. Talking about this stuff up-front will avoid awkwardness on the road and prevent questions like “we never see you for happy hour, don’t you like us?”. We do happy hours quite often (not every night) and share food maybe once or twice a week, but it’s a very loose schedule and many evenings we just prefer to have a quiet night to ourselves. I always tell our buddies “If you don’t see us, it’s not personal. We’re just getting some alone time.”
d) Doing Outings Together – This is perhaps the biggest area that folks will differ in their travel styles. Some folks just love to go and see everything there is in an area and need to be out everyday. Others might be working during the day and need to stay in and have “quiet time” during office hours (really important to know). Others like to veg and relax without too many outings at all. We’re a mix of the latter and rarely pre-plan any specific outings with our caravan buddies. Our work doesn’t have specific office hours, but we DO work during the day and enjoy lots of home “veg” time & occasional days off during the week. If we’re going for a hike or to a sightseeing spot or out to dinner, we might ask our buddies if they’d like to come along, but most days we just stay at home, work on our stuff and enjoy wherever we are with our pets. Our caravan buddies know we’re not the “super-sightseeing” type, so they are free to speed around and see the area while we stay at home and enjoy the view. Knowing these things about each other makes for much better “together” time once you get somewhere.
e) Staying Together – We’ve rarely ever set specific time-frames for our caravans since most of them have happened rather spontaneously. But if you’re doing this for the first time, or planning ahead or traveling with folks that you don’t know that well (yet) it may make sense to put a time limit on your “togetherness”. A couple of weeks is easy whereas a month can start to feel reeeealy long if you find yourself in the wrong company. If you decide to specify a timeframe my advice is to err on the short side since it’s much easier to extend than cut short. Nobody minds if you ask them whether they’d like to keep going together for a few more weeks, whereas many folks might feel really hurt if you sneak out early.
3/ Keep It Loose & Flexible
By definition RVing is all about “jello planning” and accepting that sh*t happens, especially when you least expect it. Believe me when I tell you that opening yourself to your “jello” side will make you a much, much happier RVer in the long run. You could have an unexpected mechanical issue, or you might decide you don’t like a place, or you might decide you just need to get away from your caravan for some alone time. Allowing for those flexibilities will make your caravan experience a much more pleasant experience. With our current caravan buddies we set the expectation up-front that we did not need to travel together every step of the way. Plus we gave each other the flexibility to jump ahead, or stay a few days extra at a given location, or to just leave and be off. In the end there’s nothing wrong with saying to your RV buddies “we’ve loved our experience together, but we’re feeling the urge to do some alone-travel”.
So, that’s it folks. Honestly our best caravan’s have been the ones where everyone kept it “loose” and accepted each other’s need for alone-time, but you might be different and the key is just to talk about it and be up-front about your needs. We’ve loved our caravan experiences and will likely continue them as we meet and enjoy folks on the road. It’s all part of our master jello plan 🙂
Got any good tips from your own travels with buddies? Or, had a terrible caravan experience you want to share? DO feel free to comment & add-on below.
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Interesting post! Thanks! We’re pretty much loner’s. We’ve only met up with one other couple a few times that we’ve know for 25 years – so we know each other very well! We cherished those times. But they still work and we are full timer’s so our time was short, just a long weekend. That worked for us!
Nothing at all wrong with that either. Caravaning is definitely not for everyone, and some folks just do best flying solo. The key is to know that about yourself.
Nina
Hey Guys,
You really brought up important factors in deciding to caravan. It is also relevant to folks who want to get to know you right away when you first pull into a camping area! You have to set your boundaries right there and then which can make for an awkward stay. Some folks just have to get all up in your business and then disagree with you. Those people don’t respect your boundaries. They will just creep on your space and it just gets icky. Have you had that experience?
You know honestly we’ve had very few bad experiences, especially considering how long we’ve been on the road. I’m the kind of person that I’m inclined to talk about the problem if it comes up…for example if folks are over-socializing I’ll tell them “hey guys, time to go, we need alone time”, or if someone invades our boondocking space I’ll talk to them about why they parked so close. Again, it mostly boils down to communication.
Worst case we have wheels and we can leave. We’ve done that a few times too.
Nina
I’ve caravaned several times and like you say, it’s all about communication. True with any relationship.
Yup, true of any relationship.
Nina
Great post Nina. Nicely written and laid out.
I actually think it’s really similar to how I approach going on vacations, backpacking or camping trips with others. Communication with a healthy sprinkling of respect and acceptance generally does the trick.
Have fun, and enjoy that new boondocking spot! 🙂
Totally right. It’s exactly the same as vacationing and backpacking together.
Nina
Great post Nina. We have made the mistake of traveling with others before really understand our own needs on several occasions – mostly family. Then a relationship ended over trying to travel together, because of differences that just wasn’t going to work for us. We pretty much enjoy traveling by ourselves, with options for other to pop in for a short visit. There are so many variables when trying to take our normal daily lives and making it work with others expectations/plannings without hard feelings. Glad it has worked out for you and Paul. Merry Christmas!
Yup, traveling with others can be super stressful when it doesn’t work out especially when folks have very different expectations. Sorry you guys had a bad experience, but I’m sure you learned a ton from it about yourselves. Maybe next time, if it feels right, will be different.
Nina
Caravaning with Nina and Paul on and off for 3 months remains one of the highlights of our 4 years of fulltiming!
Why thank you for that lovely comment Alex. We sure enjoyed your company too.
Nina
I think it’s precisely because we could both create guides to caravanning with friends (ours in video format: http://www.technomadia.com/caravan).. that we make such excellent caravanning buddies 🙂 Wow… going on 4 months soon.
One tip I’d add, for those participating in social media (blogging, Instagram, Facebook, etc.) – is discussing privacy desires for sharing. For instance, the four of us have checked in on things like ‘when are you comfortable sharing our current or next location’ and the like.
*cheers* to a most excellent caravan!
Ha! Of course you have a video on that. Cheers for adding it. I had totally zonked on that.
And yes discussing privacy desires for social media amongst bloggers is a very good tip.
Nina
Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful post, Nina. We’re getting ready to take off on a two-month trip with good friends who have never been out for more than a few days in their little travel trailer.
We know we’re very compatible because we’ve been living on their property for the past three months while we’ve been in our hometown of Ashland. We often have happy hour together, cook together, garden together, and socialize together. And we know how to give each other space without it feeling weird. Nonetheless, I think that traveling together is going to be different, mainly because we’ll be away from our expanded social network and it will just be the four of us. And for them, this is going to be a new experience to be living on the road.
In this situation, I don’t feel like we can say, “Okay, we’re taking off on our own now!” and I don’t even know that I’ll want to do that because we have so much fun together. But as you said, I think we definitely need to keep communication very clear and honest and to allow each other (and the respective couples) plenty of alone time. It will be interesting, for sure! 🙂
Sounds like you are very compatible and well prepared. I have no doubt you’ll have a blast!
Nina
After reading this latest blog I had an odd thought. Have you two ever been stalked for companionship or ever had to politely tell a fellow RVer to back off and give you some personal space? I’m thinking that your internet exposure might invite that unwanted behavior.
Excellent post and very well written …for my whole life in any kind of relationship I have always felt communication was of the utmost importance…without it very little works…For the most part all of our caravanning experiences have been good…only one did we “walk” away from which really put a drain on the friendship…which was fine with me…
Great job helping out those who wish to caravan with others. Communication is most definitely the name of the game to keep everyone happy.
I am hoping to at least meet and park around people a little bit on our trip west this winter. Sort of a “were parked here, come on out” kinda thing. Last winter my sister and her husband were in the area and we spent time with them every once in a while. We boondocked at High Jolly north of Quartzite and they joined us for their 1st ever boondocking…it was fun.
What wasn’t fun was being invited to “go camping” with brother-in-law and his girlfriend only to have them hole up most of the time in their camper watching movies they brought from home. Was a strange trip!
The “we’re parked here, come on out” definitely happens as you meet more folks on the road. I’d say it took us about a year or so before we really started connecting with a community. We had meetings the first year (at campgrounds and stuff), but then the second year it broadened, and it’s only grown every year since then. We now feel we have a pretty solid community/network of like-minded fellow travelers.
Nina
We were one of the ones you met in Austin at McKinney Falls State Park. Hubby got in a Dog fix thanks to you and Paul.
Still remember you 🙂 We had fun in Austin.
Nina
We had a bad experience caravanning even though we thought we had talked clearly about how we travel. We are full timers and like you we set a slow pace and enjoy staying for a month or so at one spot before we move on. We explained that and they agreed and then totally did the opposite. They wanted to eat together every night and coordinate meals like a pot luck every night. We would stop somewhere and within 5 mins they would be at the door wanting to take off in the car and sightsee. No thank you. Several times we told them this was not what we wanted to do and then they would get upset with us. From now on we will meet up with people for a few days and then move on. We like our pace & really enjoy our alone time.
Bummer of an experience. And even after you talked about it too! Just goes to show that even with the best of planning and intentions sometimes travel buddies just don’t work out. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Nina
As a family it’s hard enough to find another family to spend a lot of time with – usually it seems like the kids don’t get along well, or one of the adults just doesn’t relate well to the others. I don’t think in our pre-travel years we had but 1 family where the kids connected, the moms connected, and the dads got on well. Now throw long-term travel into that mix and I never expected to both find another family that we connected with plus be able to caravan with them.
But it happened – and I feel extremely blessed by our time traveling with the Keiter family of http://dareyou2move.com. We did 7-8 weeks total out of a year in AZ, OR and Washington, DC. They are off the road now but we are in their home state of FL and they have pitched tents next to us for a bit of reminiscing.
We found that just meeting up at the next destination worked well – we travel slower but usually left earlier so they would pass us mid-stream on travel days. Once setup we had a “no-expectations” arrangement – if sightseeing together worked cool, if not, no biggie. Sometimes kids would hop rides with the other family if one was going out and the other staying.
The boys from the two families are “besties” and our daughter gets to have the “big-sister” experience with the younger Keiter girls. Overall our caravanning times are some of the best memories of our post-suburban time.
Thanks so much for sharing your point if view as a traveling family! We’ve now met a several families on the road and they all relate similar experiences.
Nina
“while others just rely on plain ‘old cellphone calls.”
This made me laugh. Maybe you are too young to remember but it brings back memories of holding up a handwritten sign in the window of the car, “STOP next rest area” to our friends traveling with us. hahaha
HA! Yup, you got me on that one. Plain ‘ol paper didn’t even make my list LOL.
Nina
Spot on Nina! We too like our alone time so it’s important finding that balance between socializing and downtime. Keep things loose and go with the flow is the best advice!
Totally. I noticed from your blog that you guys have had some great caravan experiences too, especially this year. Sounds like you’ve found the right balance.
Nina
Great post Nina, I couldn’t agree more that communication is the key to everything. What a delightful surprise, opening up my emails this morning and seeing a picture of the two black besties smiling out at me!
The times we spent with all of you were among the most pleasant of our memories of that trip. We hope to cross paths again soon, we miss your bright faces and easy smiles.
Sue
We had a fabulous time with you guys too. Such a nice, relaxed caravan and total bonus that the doggies are crazy for each other.
Nina
Great idea for a post! It’s funny how you can tell pretty quickly if your camping style is a match or not.
Looking forward to seeing you guys soon!
Totally. We knew right away when we met you guys. Loved our laid back time in Lake Mead earlier this year. Great memories!
Nina
Great post Nina. Several years ago my late partner and I took a cruise with another couple, and before we booked the trip we all agreed that no one had to do anything unless they wanted, period. It was a great trip, sometimes with each of us doing something different for all, or most of, the day. We did end up having dinner together each evening, and having different stories to tell made it really fun! We prefer our own space, but can see ourselves traveling with other like-minded folks once we get out there 🙂
Sounds like the perfect travel buddies. I have no doubt you’ll find the same on the road.
Nina
We have had some fun meet-ups while RVing, but haven’t done any caravaning. I don’t think I would want the stress of having to be ‘put together’ every day. When we are alone, I can wander outside in my pjs without fixing my hair and enjoy my coffee in the morning. Then I might even stay in my pjs all day! How sad that being a slob (without witnesses) is a priority for me! Hahaha! TMI?
I guess this is where you and I differ. I have no problems slouching around in my PJs even with company around 🙂
Nina a
Yes, communication is key!
We’re still in our S & B but have gone on a few trips with family. We’re used to our routine and when it gets disrupted we aren’t happy and neither are our companions. Knowing this about ourselves is important to share before hand.
Thank you for writing about an important topic whether you’re on the road or still at a home base.
Exactly the thing to know and share. If your buddies know that, they know not to bother you at the wrong time.
Nina
Thanks for sharing your wonderful tips with us!
Love this post! We’ve been doing this for 30 years. All it took was a call and we were packed and out the driveway! We also enjoy rallies, which are normally weekends only. Fun times. I remember being sick on one caravaning trip to Key West. We’d pass the Pepto back and forth through the front windows of the rigs at stop lights!! lol
We’ve never done any rallies although we joined a group camp at Quartzsite last year. Not really our thing. We prefer the smaller caravans. Something for everyone though! Love the Pepto story LOL!
Nina
It also helps to know about larks and owls in the group. If I see a sunrise it is because I am still up not because I got up early. I rarely see a sunrise in the winter when the sun sleeps late, too, but I occasionally see a summer one because I haven’t gone to bed yet. So don’t expect me to be on the road with you at 8 am.
Yup, night owls and morning larks are very different creatures. Yet another thing to know about your buddies. As long as everyone is respectful (especially with noise) it all works out.
Nina
Here’s a caravaning incident for you. This just happened last month. Towards the end of our trip my travel buddy ran the front of his coach into the rear of mine. $35k damage to both. Both motorhomes are now at the factory in Indiana for repairs which will take until spring due to various reasons. Our 3 month winter in FL is out. Yes, we are still friends and are going to try it again in July (althought I may have him drive about a half mile in front of me!).
Whoah! That’s a bummer. Seriously impressed you’re ready to caravan again. That’s the sign of a great friendship 🙂
Nina
Love reading your thoughts on caravanning. Learned a lot from it and learned a lot from all the replies! Loved the jello reference and the “err not us” description.
Cool 🙂
Nina
Because we frequently have our horses with us, we are camping in more remote, and horse friendly places. This really limits how we camp, and where. If we can find places that have corrals this is a BIG plus, as we do have to clean out the trailer or corrals at least twice daily….Peee.Uuu.!!!
We do have a couple who also have horses, and have gone to the Anza Borrego state park, and to Butterfield Stage Resort together. BUT…I drive at or just below the 55mph limit, and they fly at about 65-70, so they are usually at camp when we pull in, and have our corrals setup, or at least a flat spot for them.
Sounds like you’ve found the balance. Cheers for sharing.
Nina
We have spent several summers traveling with a group, caravan style, around the southwest. The group was a sport pilot group and we traveled from event to event following a circuit of air shows and fly-ins. We all pulled trailers behind our Motor homes with our aircraft and support equipment in them. So we all had two things in common. We liked to RV and we liked to fly. I would often give sunset flights to some of the other pilots wives and the group of us became fast friends. As you mentioned, everyone’s style is different. We soon found each others pet peeves and comfort zones and learned to communicate very well to keep harmony in the group. I haven’t flown (or traveled) with some of those guys for 5 or 6 years now but am sure we would pick right back up where we left off if we run into them again.
Great example of a harmonious caravan.
Nina
I am late to the commenting party on this one, but I wanted to say how much I love this post. Caravanning has been a welcome addition to this lifestyle for us. Our very best experiences have been completely unplanned. Usually we meet someone (often for the first time), realize that we get along, and then continue to the next location with them. It’s become an excellent way to develop friendships with other RVers. So often we meet people briefly and leave without getting to know them. I consider it a real treat to spend an expended amount of time others. I can’t imagine going on a large planned caravan, but so far the casual ones we have been part of have truly enriched our travels.
Totally relate. Love that you’ve had these experiences too.
Nina
Great post as usual Nina. Going with the flow and being flexible speak to this lifestyle. We fondly remember our caravaning time with the two of you. 🙂
Us too Lu! Hope we see ya in Q.
Nina
LOVE the selfie in Palm Springs, you all look so happy. You are so right that communication and setting expectations is key – to all travel with others, not just RVing. And then sometimes things just work because everyone is flexible and accepting. Back in Grand Teton National Park Hector and I were in “wildlife hunting” mode every morning and evening. Sometimes everyone came along, other times a couple, other times none. The whole group got together one evening, another just a couple of us, and another we all ate on our own. It was perfect.
Brenda
I have no doubt you guys would be great caravan buddies. Hopefully we’ll see ya later this winter in Q.
Nina
Perfectly said, Nina. Im a little social but I just prefer meet ups rather than caravaning.
For lots of folks meet-ups are the best and easiest way to socialize. So many opportunities for that on the road.
Nina
Hi Nina. I know I’m a little late to the party, but I just got around to reading this post and I had to jump in.
True enough, communication is the key, but not just with people you might meet up with; you have to be clear with the person you’re traveling with as well. My wife and I are still a few months away from buying our first RV, but the more we talk about our plans after we buy the more I realize how different our ideas are.
I jokingly refer to my wife as a “do-er” and to myself as a “don’t-er.” She likes to sight-see, explore and experience, while I prefer to kick back, veg, and enjoy my immediate surroundings. So, naturally, when she thinks about RV trips, she thinks of places to park the RV so we can go see everything else. I, on the other hand, wanna park next to a river or canyon and enjoy the view all day.
We realized our dilemma when she suggested a trip to the San Francisco Bay Area to visit family and friends. As soon as my waking nightmare of traffic and parking passed, I told her, “No problem. As soon as you learn how to drive the rig you can take it anywhere you want.” She was less impressed with my snark than I was, but it did spark the debate about how both of us can get what we want out of RV traveling without putting the other one through hell.
For the record – we compromised on parking in the wine country and driving the tow’d down to the Bay Area for visits during day trips. She gets to see her friends and family; I get to make excuses about why we have to leave so early: “Oh, look… the sun’s going down. We gotta get back to the rig before the batteries die.”
After 35 years together we’ve learned how to compromise, but it does illustrate the point that setting those expectations is just as important inside the coach as outside.
Hope to see you out there one day!
So very true. Living as two separate personalities in a very small space has it’s own special challenges. One of the things Paul and I often do is separate our outings.
For example Paul is more of a homebody. He likes certain types of outings (e.g. Hiking), but can’t stand others (e.g. Shopping is his worst nightmare LOL). I’m more of an extrovert and have more of a need to see things and people. Also every now and then I require a good long, solo hike or time to just putter round for a few hours and do some photography. So, if I’m in the mood for flea markets, for example, or I want to see some museum that doesn’t interest him or I’ve been invited to some big group gathering that doesn’t speak to him, I’ll leave him at home with the dog and do the outing by myself. This has worked out very well for us in our travels. Paul has no issue with me going out by myself, and neither do I. We have a good balance and both get what we need.
Absolutely important for two people living together 24/7 to find those compromises that work.
Nina
Excellent article. Currently traveling 6 weeks with my sister and brother in law. They in their motorhome and us in ours. Everything gelling perfect. Lots of meals together and plenty of sight seeing. At this moment sitting around the perfect campfire with everyone. So i better get back to visiting. Leaving Corning New York heading for Hershey Pennsylvania in the morning for the RV SHOW.
Sounds like the perfect caravan. Have a great continuing journey!
Nina