A Time Of Sadness
“For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.” Khalil Gibran
There is no life lived without the prospect of end, no person born who will not die. As humans we all know this inherently, but even with the richness of this knowledge and the millions of years over which it has been proven, death never comes easy.
My mother died on Sunday and it hit me like a brick.
We were at the lighthouse starting our shift when I got the call. I had talked to her the day before and although she was feeble (her health, especially the last few years was never good), she seemed in decent spirits. Sometime that night her soul decided it was time and left. She died at home, in her bed after a day of sun surrounded by the garden she loved so much and the blue sky. There was no prolonged hospital stay, no undue suffering, so honestly the death was about as good as it comes. Freed of her earthly body and its physical struggles, I’m sure she is dancing free and happy in her spirit form. I believe the thread continues so there is really no end, just a transition from one form to another. The burdens of our human lives are left behind, as are our family, but we eventually get re-united in spirit at the end. At least that’s what I’ve always felt to be true.
But I’m still incredibly sad, much more so than I ever imagined and I’ve been a mess (on and off) for the past 2 days.
I’m flying back to France this week-end for the final arrangements. Since my travel is last-minute it’s been a struggle to find reasonable flights, but after 2 days of work I’ve managed to put together a plan. It’s going to take me a grueling 4 stops and ~30 hours to get door-to-door, but I’ll be there. My brother and sister are attending too, so we’ll all be together. The host coordinator here at Cape Disappointment (Steve) has also been incredibly supportive, not only covering our shift the day I found out, but allowing Paul to stay & volunteer solo while I fly home. So, on the practical side at least, I’ve been incredibly lucky and everything is taken care of.
The emotional side is a completely different story.
I’m honestly not sure how to write about this and remain true to all the complexity of emotions that my mother’s death brings to me. I may never be ready to write about it. These are incredibly difficult feelings for me, made more so by the many years of depression I experienced in my youth, and there is enough sadness in the world already. Everyone has struggles, everyone has darkness. It’s partly why I focus on the light in my blog and in my life. I struggled so long to find it, so I work extra hard to keep it and spread it as far as I can in the world. Joy is self-fulfilling just as depression can be, which is why I’m really no good at writing about the dark stuff.
So, for the time being I am letting the blog go dark as I process through these things. I expect I’ll be back soon, and I may be inspired to write while I’m in France (over the next two weeks), but at the moment I can make no guarantees. I hope to find some closure with my family and I know nature (as she always does) will eventually heal me. One thing is for sure. Life will always be different from now on.
Nina, my deepest condolences.
Doug
Thank you for sharing in such a wonderful way.
I will be praying for you
A big hug to you in your time of loss. Safe travels.
My sincerest condolences. Loss is never easy. May you find a sense of peace as you reunite with loved ones. Sending warm thoughts your way.
Nina, may the memories of wonderful times spent with your Mother bring extra love and light the way for healing.
So sorry for your loss. I have enjoyed your adventures and wonderful, thoughtful prose from my corner of the world for a long time. You strike me as a soul who will feel this with grace and courage. Our mothers are irreplaceable and no matter what age we are, we are orphans once they leave our lives. Be gentle with yourself and your siblings. Loss can bring out a lot of unprocessed feelings, ones that we never knew existed. And remember that the break in your heart is what let’s love in.
A big hug to you. I’m so sorry for your pain. For your loss. Peaceful travel.
I lost my mom a few years ago after a complicated relationship with her. It hit me harder than I anticipated as well but I think dealing with all those difficult emotions has helped me grow. I wish you peace and closure with your family.
So sorry to hear of your loss. I am sure the journey home will be
Healing for you. Safe travels.
So sad to hear it. You have my deepest sympathy for your loss. It sounds like she had a full life and passed in a gentile manner we all hope to experience, when our time comes.
Chip
So terribly sorry for your loss. May our prayers comfort you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. “Earth has no sorrow that earth cannot heal.” –John Muir
You are being held.
Peace and healing for you… you and Paul are an inspiration, while we only part time, i follow your progress..and have missed meeting you by only a few days at a couple of places. your words and your photos are healing. You will be missed until you return.
The steps in the journey of life are of varying, some are easy some are not. This is what crafts us into who we are. God speed, safe travels.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I Am so terribly sorry for your loss. I hope that in time you will come to remember all the wonderful memories with your Mom and not just this one sad day
Nina, 15 years ago I had that call. The grief overwhelming. Then one day I felt pressure on my arms and knew she was hugging me. I know you will too feel her spirit loving and comforting you. Xxx
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom quite a while ago, and I still have difficulty talking about it. I hope you can find your lightness again.
So sorry for the sudden challenge of this loss for you and your family Nina. It sounds like your mother was indeed blessed with a peaceful departure from this realm. But that doesn’t make it any easier for you to deal with all the complex emotions. Travel safely with the loving support of your friends both known and unknown. And may your healing be guided by wisdom, comfort, and love.
I empathize with you heart and soul. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I have been an orphan for 6 years now, and at 64 years old I still miss my parents. God bless you and the relationship you have had with your mother.
I am so sorry to read about your mother’s passing, Nina. I wish you safe travels on your journey, particularly the emotional one. Steven and I will be in Cape D during your absence (July 6 & 7) and we’ll stop by and check in on Paul.
My prayers are with you and your family in this time of sorrow. God bless you!
So sorry for your grief.
God’s peace and love be with you; to strengthen you ,to guide you, to comfort you in your time of loss.
sorry for your loss.. safe travels and be well as you deal with the death of your mom.
our thought are with you and yours
carl karen newton
Nina, thank you for sharing your pain with us, your electronic family. We’ll be here, whenever you decide to come back. May you be free from suffering, and your family too. When my father died, my life changed dramatically. I had to re-evaluate every relationship in my life. It takes time, but like Euripides says
(in The Trojan Women), the cup of Death is empty and Life hath always hope. In other words, it does get better. Really.
Nina, our deepest sympathies to you and your family. Losing a parent is never easy, as the rock you have had to provide stability is suddenly gone. Time will prove to you that your mother is still with you, guiding your steps in ways that were not possible when she was physically here.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I wish you comfort in your good memories of your mother.
Lots of love to you,
Donna
My sympathies to you and your family. I look forward to reading your blog again when you feel up to it. Safe travels.
My deepest condolences to you, Nina
My deepest sympathies. I lost my mom 4 years ago. She lived with me for her last 4 years, and it is still too quiet. I talk to her aloud, and feel her presence. May you take comfort in your mother’s peace and return to vigor. You, too, will feel her with you when you most need or least expect her. Safe travels.
That is probably the most beautiful thing I have ever read. May God grant you extra strength, peace, and comfort during this difficult time. My sincere condolences.
Nina I know not your loss. My parents are both in their late 70s. I dread the day when one of them passes on. Be brave and love your mom for what she gave you, life, love and family.
Bill n Sadie plus Mic
Sorry for your loss from your family in
Florida
Armando ,Ana ,Annie ,Alex
The dark stuff is really hard to write about. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. Looking forward to reading more of your writing when you are ready.
Chris
Oh gosh,
I’m so sorry, there are no words………….our thoughts are with you, Safe travels.
Christy and Ed
I’m sorry for your loss, you will prevail,and flourish. Matt
Very sorry to hear of your lost , reminds me to talk more with both my parents
I’m sorry for the loss of your mother. May you find away to process all the emotions during this difficult time.
She is in a better place and may she rest in peace. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. I also dread the day when its my mom’s turn to say goodbye to this earth, she is 97.
Nina,
I’m so very sorry. Take your time finding peace, share memories with your siblings and return to your blog when you are able. We will be waiting when the journey continues.
Xxx
Marilu
I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
God has a plan-He will get you through this.
I lost my mother last October and we were in North Carolina near Asheville and had to get to the north part of Jacksonville asap.
Please just remember to celebrate, celebrate,celebrate your mother’s life.
God has his arms around you.
I’m sorry for your loss. May you find strength to comfort you and guide you during this difficult time in your life. I’m looking forward to reading more of your beautiful blog when you are ready to write again.
Nina, I am sincerely sorry for the passing of your mom. The loss of someone you love changes you forever, but the way you feel that loss will change everyday. It may not feel this way right now but you will be ok. Your mom will forever be in a special place in your heart! Following your travel adventures have been inspiring! I have been full time RVing since March! Safe travels. Prayers for peace in your heart and strength. Bev
Nina, bravo to you for even being able to write this post, it must have been very hard. Even though she was lucky to have died in her sleep, it doesn’t make up for the feelings you have now. At least you spoke to her the day before, you will always have that. It certainly doesn’t help that you have a 30 hour journey ahead of you, but you will get through it. Take care, all your friends and readers will be thinking of you.
You continue to be in my thoughts, and I share with you all the strength I can as you navigate through the coming days. This stuff isn’t meant to be easy, allow yourself whatever time and space you need for yourself and your family.
Much love to you my dear Nina. And much love to Paul, Polly and the kitties as they hold down the fort.
I am terribly sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents when I was a young adult, but there’s nothing like losing your Mother. Be kind to yourself, spend time with your family, no real words to make it any easier. I lost my husband suddenly last year, an earth shattering experience. Grief is an overwhelming emotion, take one day, sometimes one hour at a time. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
My prayers are with you for safe travel to France, and for your finding acceptance and peace with fond memories of your mother….bask in them; they will bring smiles. I hope you and your siblings talk long into the nights, remembering the good times – it is so healing. You are strong and your faith will sustain you. Trust in your beliefs. He will not let you fall and will never give you more than you can handle, together. God bless you!
Nina, I’m thinking of you and wishing you peace, comfort and safe travel to France. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
So sorry to hear of your loss. I hope your memories of your Mother are of strength and warmth. God Bless you and your family.
So sorry for your loss and the pain you are enduring. It is not easy. I lost my dad in February and at unexpected times a memory appears and sometimes I smile but often I cry. Let Paul’s hugs help the pain subside just a tad so you can breathe. Sending you strength for the days ahead.
Hugs…
Nina: You are truly an amazing woman. I wish you well on your healing and hope some day I get to meet you.
Dear Nina,
So sorry to read of your mom’s passing. As you fly to France my thoughts and prayers are with you. Just this month I came across this poem by Henry Scott Holland which I hope you will find to be ongoingly comforting.
Godspeed.
Rick Hervey
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland#ixzz3ebHjLhqh
Family Friend Poems
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family at this time of great lose. Safe travels:) We will all be here when you are ready to return.
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. Losing some one so close
to you is very hard to deal with. Losing someone so far away is even harder. I pray you will have a safe trip. You will forever hold the great memories of your Mom. Praying for you, Keep well.
Colleen
Keeping good thoughts for you, Nina, as you travel. Hoping that the time with family will be a special celebration of your mother. And, thinking of you, Paul… can be quite difficult when a partner is hurting. Our best to you both.
Dianne & Tom
We’re so very sorry.
My sympathies to you and your family.
Have a safe trip.
Best Regards
voytek
We are so very sorry for your loss, Nina. Hugs from Linda and Mike.
Nina, I am so sorry to read about your Mom’s passing. I hope you can find some comfort knowing that she enjoyed her final days in her garden and that she passed peacefully. Sounds like your Mom enjoyed nature and simple pleasures as much as her daughter. You will be in our thoughts and prayers at this sad and difficult time. We hope that in time warm memories of your Mom will outshine the dark feelings you are experiencing today. Big Hugs and Safe Travels
You are in our thoughts. Travel safe. And take comfort that your Mother will always be with you. A smile of another person. The sun on a flower. A restful thought. A sunset. Your dreams – will always keep her with you and in your heart.
I know, as daily I miss – but also see remembrances of my Mom.
Wishing you well,
Greg (Smitty) Smith
….we had a similar call a few months ago while we were RVing in the south west. The early days are difficult.
Our condolences, Nina, on the loss of your mother.
Nina, I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother will live on in your heart and memories. Travel safe, and take your time to grieve, remember the good times as you travel it will help the journey go better.
I’m so sorry about your mother. You’re in my thoughts.
Nina, My thoughts are with you in these days of your grief and emotions. Love heals.
Don
So sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need. I’ve been there and didn’t take as much time as I should have and the grief held onto me for years. You’ll always have your mom in your heart.
My deepest sympathies, Nina.
When my folks died I was able to get bereavement discounts on airfare. I don’t know if that’s still offered or by whom. You’re a smart cookie so you’ve probably already figured all that out.
First and foremost, take care of yourself. Your readers will all be here when you come back.
So very sorry to read this. My condolences. You have a few harrowing days ahead of you, I’ll be thinking of you. I’m impressed that you are able to even put up a post.
So very sorry for your loss. Hope and pray all goes well with your travels.
So sorry to hear of your loss. I will be praying for you. I have appreciated your ability to focus on the light and I know you will get there again. But just as you have been light to us, let your faithful readers be light to you during this time. Don’t be afraid to write about the dark. We will love you no matter what you write.
I am so sorry for your loss, Nina. May peace be with you.
Nina,
I am so deeply sorry, keeping your entire family in my thoughts and prayers.
Big hug,
Tina
Your words touch many who follow your journey. We will travel with you on this one.
Our dear Nina…..we’re all so very sorry that you must go through this. I know, it is part of life, we all know that but in the beginning those words don’t really help. The only way to get to a place where grief’s edges are softened is to go right through the middle. Allow yourself that. Its normal and its necessary. My mother died almost 20 years ago and I am still brought to tears by an unexpected memory. We are lucky to have had our mothers for however long, and they will always be in us, always.
You are in our thoughts.
Sorry about your loss, we look forward to your safe return. Thank you for your inspiring writings. Sanford
I think that for most of us, no one will ever love us as much (and hopefully for as long) as our Moms. It’s an awful lot for a person to lose. My sympathies to you and your family.
Our prayers are with you and your family…. May God’s grace be with you as you navigate through the loss of your mom. Everyday is a precious gift and it is wonderful that you made that connection with her before her passing. No doubt you have reminded each of us how important life is and how much our moms mean to us.
Nina,
We are so sorry for your loss. We will keep you and your family in our prayers through this difficult time. May you succeed in your quest through this dark time to see the light. God bless you!
Aaron and Beth
May sweet memories sustain during this time of grief. It is such a sad time, but you will endure as you know you must. Your mother will always be with you in your heart. Safe travels.
Nina, my deepest condolences on your mom’s death. May your travels be safe & flawless. Just a reminder to take good care of yourself in the hours, days & months ahead.
Sorry for your loss. May God ride with you on your long journey back home. We’ll all be right here when you get back, so go with God’s speed.
So very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us at this difficult time.
My prayers are with you. Very sad for your loss. Hope to see you back in time. I lost my sister in March and I know how hard it is to go on. Thank you for reminding us of the healing that comes so naturally from all that is around us. God Bless
We too are sorry for your loss. Though you’ve never met us, my wife and I enjoy your columns, and offer our condolences at this time.
So sorry. Sending big hugs.
So Sorry, my prayers are with you, I know how hard this is. Time they say is the great healer, but faith in Christ plays a valuable part. Remember the past, it is real, but look to the future. I lost my mother about 5 years ago but her body still lives in a care home in the UK, 3000 miles away.
My blessing to both of you in this time of grief.
Malcolm
Nina,
While we haven’t met, we share a joy of travel and through your blog my wife and I have come to appreciate your incredible photography and writing talent. We are thinking of you in this time of loss and know that you will be in a good place among family.
Best,
Mike and Louise
Our condolences and wishing you safe travels.
It was heart rending for my wife, Diane, and I to find out why you were driving away from the lighthouse parking lot. As we said then, “we have been there”, but there is so much more to say and so little of it that will help. The living can provide comfort, but the loss and pain are still there. Take care and know others care about you.
Deepest sympathies and best regards as you work into getting one foot in front of the other again, as the sun does continue to rise during these times too.
Just take it a moment at a time. You’ll regain your footing.
From atop a little hill above a beautiful green pasture in Tennessee my heart aches for for your current suffering. In my stationary corner of the world I travel far and wide through your minds eye. Thank you for sharing your colorful vagabond wanderings with those of us who can not live the life you love. May you pass through this darkness to a brighter tomorrow…wishing you safe travels to and from your homeland.
So sorry for your loss, it’s only in body, her soul well always be with you in your heart.
Best & take care of yourself too.
Cec & Alan
May God hold you close and comfort you in this difficult time… Be light of heart in knowing that your Mom is free of these worldly pains and is meandering in beautiful gardens that please her…may you find some peace as you reflect on your memories
So sorry, Nina. What great support you have here which is, I’m sure, a comfort.
Nina, Terry and I are sending prayers and lots of positive thoughts your way as you make your way to France. The death of a parent is never easy, regardless of the circumstance or the complexity of the relationship. Give yourself all the time you need with your family during this difficult time.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Time, family and friends will help soothe your pain and you can be comforted with your memories.
The poem below has always comforted me. I’m sure you are familiar with it, but if not just hit up Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gillespie_Magee,_Jr.
High Flight by John Gillespie Magee, Jr.
“Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,
I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air….
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace.
Where never lark, or even eagle flew —
And, while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
– Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.”
So very sorry for your loss. Thoughts are with you in this difficult time.
I cannot be the only person who gets so much from your blogs, so I am sure there are many other folks like me, complete strangers to you, who are sending positive and supportive energy as you face the coming weeks.
Deepest sympathy
Sally
Bless you and safe travels
I’m sorry to hear of your loss, you have my deepest empathy. I lost my mother 23 years ago, the grief will pass, but the love remains. Make sure you get a little something that was personal to her, my special keepsake is a pair of slippers she knitted for me, everytime I put them on, I’m reminded of her. Take care and be gentle with yourself.
Dear Nina,
I don’t write often, but wanted you to know what an inspiration your beautiful pictures are to me. And also I want you to know I am sorry for the loss of your mother. Take care. I believe in prayer and so I will pray for your safe trip to France and back home to your husband. When you are ready to write again I am looking forward to your blog and the beautiful pictures you share. They give me lots of joy.
So sorry for your loss. Safe travels, and take comfort in the time with your family. It’s the best of times and the worst of times.
My heart breaks for you. Words cannot heal the pain but hopefully the abundance of love expressed in the comments will lift your spirits.
Sorry to hear about your mom Nina. I’m sure I speak for all your readers in that we’re here for you as you’ve been here for us providing us inspiration and laughter over the years. Please travel safely and keep your wonderful outlook on life.
Nina you have all our love and support. How beautyfully you expressed your loss and feelings. You are an amazing young woman. Know you had an amazing mom, who has chosen to go back to the FOREVER, where we all come from. Some day we will all be connected once more. May you have a safe trip to France. Also our love to Paul and the four legged furry friends. Blessings, Else and Kim.
Nina – so sorry for your loss. And thank you for sharing your personal feelings. Becki
I am so sorry about your mom. I hope you come to peace soon. Enjoy your family and take comfort. Thank you for this blog–it is so nice.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I honestly don’t know what’s harder, losing a loved one in the blink of an eye as I lost my father and brother or over time as I lost my mother to cancer. Sending {hugs} and love your way. Safe travels.
Beautifully written, and I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I lost my father over 20 years ago, and I still do not have the “right” words. My deepest sympathy…..
Our thoughts and prayers for you and Paul Nina. Ronnie
Memory eternal for your mother. My mother has also gone from this earth. The roller coaster of emotions was extreme as first, it has settled down, but I miss her very much to this day, 23 yrs later. It still hurts but I also remember the joy she shared with me.
May your journey be filled with Bright Sadness: Bright as she is without pain/worry, Sadness because she is not on this earth in her physical body where you can touch her, talk and laugh with her.
Nina, thank you for your authentic sharing. My experience, in losing both of my parents and my wife, is this: When it’s time to cry, cry. And when it’s time to cry again, cry again. That being present to your reality of feelings is healing I think. At least it seemed to be for me. Bless you! ~ Chuck Custer
I’m so sorry, Nina. It’s winderful, and speaks to your character, that you can see the positive, even during tremendous heartache. Prayers.
Dear Nina, We’re so deeply sorry for your loss. Your willingness to share in such a heartfelt manner is healing for all. Wishing you peace and safe travels. ~Laurel & Eric
Nina, I am so sorry for your loss, please accept my condolences. You have always been a positive inspiration and continue to inspire even at a time like this. Please travel safe.
Dear Nina. Thank you for your beautiful words. I wish for you that you are right. That nature heals. But I also hope that we after this life will meet again in one form or another. I also hope that you again will want to continue your blog and that I should continue to follow you. Warmest thoughts from your mother’s old friend. Anni
So, so sorry for your loss. Safe travels and I hope your family and friends can bring you strength.
So sorry to hear this news. I’m glad you can be with your siblings during this difficult time. Going thru this same thing a couple years ago made the bond between my brother and me even stronger than it already was. If there are any silver linings to the death of parents, it is that. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother eight years ago and although we had a challenging relationship, your mother is still your mother and that bond is eternal. I hope being with your family will be healing and help you through this difficult time.
When in doubt during this sad period, simply grieve.
Blessings,
Lorrie
Nina, I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mother. What a nice last day she had and that you had just talked with her. Your post was beautiful and very touching. My husband Curt, and I were at Cape D Sunday & Monday nights, and thought about trying to find you & Paul, to meet you in person while we were there. For some reason, I felt a hesitation to bother you. Perhaps this was why. Now I’m thankful we didn’t impose on you after you had just received news about your Mother. Strange how things happen sometimes. We decided to stay at Cape D because of your recent post about it.
May wonderful memories and love for your Mother comfort and ease your heart and emotions. When you’re ready to write again, we’ll be here. Safe travels.
Susan
I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard. I lost my Mom 13 years ago, my first husband 16 years ago and my Dad 27 years ago. Still miss them but the pain does get easier.
Nina….As some of know, loosing ones Mom is a tough one….It was somewhat peaceful so that is good…My Mom didn’t go so easy…Have a good flight Sweety.
Nina, take your time and do what you need to do, everyone has their own process of mourning. I hope your time with your siblings is full of love. Also take good care of yourself and know that we care about you and are willing to lend a shoulder if you need one (or two).
Much love to you and Paul,
Brenda and Hector
Nina
So sorry to hear of your loss. There are things that you could say, there is grieving process, it will take time. Remember the good times, that you had with your Mother.
You and Paul are in our thoughts and prayers, Have a safe trip.
Oh Nina, I am so sorry to hear this news and realize the emotional struggle you must be going through. I hope that your travel time, although long and arduous will offer time to reflect and grieve. I will be thinking of you and I hope that spending time with your family helps.
Take comfort in knowing that this huge community you have grown loves and supports you. My husband, son, and I are actually moving back into our motorhome tomorrow to begin full-timing again and we can’t wait. You are always an inspiration to so many and you should know how much we all care for you and Paul (and the paws). Take all the time you need to work through this.
Peace and Love,
Nicole
Hugs…..I will pray for you to have a safe journey and a faster route to France. Four stops are rough. I did that to Africa from Portland, Oregon. Also, I know another blogger who recently had a death in his family an was taking a break from blogging. Take the time you need to grieve. Be kind to yourself an celebrate life.
More hugs….Lora
Nina, so very sorry for your loss.
Peace and comfort to you and your family, Nina. Please make sure to take care of yourself. Sending you lots and lots of love.
I feel for your loss and you have my deepest condolences. Our earthly bodies are here for a seemingly short time but the moments you shared and her spirit will be with you forever.
Dear Nina,
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am impressed with the way you share this with us and how you allow us to be close to you in these difficult moments. You continue to inspire me even now.
I was with both my parents when they died three years ago and I still have moments when I want to call them and share with them what happens in my life.
You say that you don’t know how to write about it and at the same time you write about it so well. Thank you for sharing this with us, and please know that your digital family is there for you.
If your travels bring you through Schiphol (Amsterdam airport) we might be able to get together for a cup of tea and a hug. Contact me if you would like to meet.
Thinking of you and sending you a big virtual hug across the ocean
Koos
So very sorry for your loss. Be comforted by the thought that so many others are thinking of you at this time.
I am so sorry for your loss and the sadness it brings. Take your time, one day at a time, and come back to writing you you’re up to it.
We will be here waiting for you.
Nina, I am so sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you and sending prayers.
I am truly sorry for your loss….you are correct about it being the “perfect” way to go. What a nice way to end your life…doing the things you enjoy and being at home. Safe travels.
Nina, we, like many others, are very sorry for your loss. You will be in our thoughts and prayers over the coming days.
Prayers for peace for you and your family.
Will be praying for you.
Dear Nina,
Allow all of us to help carry your heavy heart.
Susie A.
I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss.
May your trip be safe and my prayers go out to you during your time of healing.
May your mother stroll through your mind often as proof that she is with you always in spirit.
Nina,
My heart goes out to you as you travel through this healing journey. Be kind to yourself and focus on the loving memories. I lost my mom 38 years ago at 17. Time & nature are wonderful healers.
Thanks for all of your giving:-)
Bettina
Nina, my sincere condolences. I still think of my parents daily, and mom’s been gone for 8 years now, my dad for 15. What helps me still through the sorrow is remembering the happy times we had together. But in the beginning, when their deaths were still recent, I would think about how they comforted me in times of hardship. How their words and actions helped me accept a loss, and I could feel their presence. Yes, time will heal, and your mom will always be with you, she is a part of you forever.
Nina, I am so terribly sorry to hear about your Mother. When my Mom passed away I kept thinking about lines from a song that Carly Simon sings…”Life is eternal, love is immortal and death is only a horizon…and the horizon is nothing but the limit of our sight.” Just thinking about you and wishing you peace.
Losing a Parent is the worst, they are a part of you. Prayers will follow for your journey.
Our prayers are with you Nina. We are around both sets of parents for the summer and mine (being older) are not in great shape. I’m already having different conversations with my Dad and hearing “before I go” type comments from him. It’s tough.
Godspeed on your travels.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you. It’s never easy saying good-bye.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you were able to put together a plan to get to France and be there with your brother and sister. Take care and safe travel.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Nina. May all that you have given us come back to you in comfort and peace.
Nina,
Look at all these posts…you have amazing support. While too many of us know just how you feel, it still hurts so much to go through the pain of loss. All I can say is time will heal the loss. You have so many friends out in the world who care. Take comfort that you mom is in a better place and maybe you can feel the joy of anticipation for reuniting once again.
So sorry to hear of this.
Best wished to you and your family.
Safe travels.
We prepare and can never be prepared. I am so very sorry for your loss, for your current pain, and heartened that you know her spirit continues on unfettered, helping you to heal as time passes. Words are powerful conduits. Most of us are connected to you only through those you share unselfishly with us and our brief responses – and yet the genuine love and support shown here is powerful. Your desire to bring the light to others is obviously working, something we all recognize and appreciate. We send it back to you as you face this dark time – never alone again. Hugs.
I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing to equal the loss of your mom, and time will heal. Safe travels and thank you so very much for the eloquent notice.
I am so sorry for your loss, Nina. My father passed in a similar manner a year and a half ago and it was indeed the best way for him to go. While I miss his physical presence, I feel him beside me everyday. Hopefully you will also reach this level in time. Take care of yourself.
Nina, so very very sorry for your loss. Having just lost my mom 2 months ago I can tell you it’s a complex process. Take solace in the notion that it’s okay not to be okay for awhile. Peace.
I was so saddened at your loss, Nina. My deepest condolences…
My heart goes out to you Nina. I totally understand, having been through this, as my mother passed June 5. I’m processing this…healing…but I guess I will be as long as I’m on this earth. You are right , the world is a different place now.
Hugs to you, girl.
Micky
We were sorry to read your post today. I felt that pain three years ago. Let the blog go dark while you find your light.
Our prayers & thoughts go with you Nina.
So sorry for your loss, Nina. It is a very great blessing to know that your mother had a peaceful passing. Sending you healing thoughts and prayers. Safe travel.
So sorry for your loss. Travel safe, be well, and enjoy your family.
The loss of any family member is painful, Nina, but losing a parent or child is devastating. I know…I have lost both. Take the time you need to sort out your feelings, mourn, and repair your broken heart. Time will take care of the rest.
I am soo so sorry for your loss, Nina. Nothing replaces a mother. You will heal eventually, but be sure to give yourself lots of time. She will be with you forever.
Deepest condolences on your loss Nina, so beautifully said & heartfelt.
“The wound is the place where light enters you ” Rumi
“Heaven is under our feet as well over our heads” Henry David Thoreau
Safe travels. May love surround you.
La perte d’une maman est un moment extremement difficile, en esperant que nos voeux de sympathie et notre affection aident à atténuer votre grande tristesse.
De tout coeur avec vous,
Catherine et Jean
Vos “suiveurs francais “
Nina – sending you kindness and warmth. Be kind to yourself and know that you are surrounded with love and light.
one of my favorite John Muir quotes:
“This grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never all dried at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal sunset, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls.”
You have not lost her, for she wil always be with you! Let the good memories of your mother lift your spirits, and help you through this difficult time.
Nina…so sorry for your loss. Sending positive thoughts your way!
So sorry for your loss. Wishing you safe travels and a comforting time with your brother and sister.
So sorry for your loss Nina. Our thoughts are with you and Paul.
Safe travels.
Dearest Nina: Love and Light to you and your family & safe travels.
As humans, we find ourselves in a rather unusual place when our parents make their transition. Whether it is due to some preceived lack, abuse or misunderstanding, our feelings tend to be mixed and elusive to our normal language, but know that your ability to communicate the many realms of feelings has come through loud and clear through this post. You have many followers to whom your abilities are known on a very practical level; however, every once in a while you dip into the vast depths of the soul and manage to provide us some concrete evidence that your waters run far deeper than they first appear.
May you and your family find those words which will heal, enlighten, and bring joy to your aching hearts.
We love you [& Paul] and send the gifts that only those who know and love you can bring.
So sorry, Nina.
What a beautiful written blog! Our thoughts and prayers are with during this difficult time.
Nina,
So sorry for your loss.
Your blog has offered so much to all of us and we are praying for you.
Healing takes time and praying helps the healing. I always find the text at Philippians 4:6-7 very encouraging:
“Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything
by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving,
let your petitions be made known to God;
and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard
your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7
My condolences. Losing a parent is a life event that changes the way the world spins. Love to you as you adjust to a new reality.
Blessings and prayers follow you for safe travels and healing for your family and yourself. Always remember the good times with your mother. My brother died at 43 yrs old, and there were so many memories that at first seemed to have gone with him, things only he and I shared. Those things are always with us, though, as long as you remember. It really helped all of us to set aside a time to just remember the funny and sad stories, so many “I never knew that!” comments. Tears and laughter together are very healing, I think, and I am a former hospice nurse, so I have been present for many times of loss. Take care and give yourself some grace to have bad moments. I have loved your blog and pictures so much, I know you must have a wealth of strength and joy that will serve you well now!
Oh Nina, so very sorry to hear about your mom. You are so dear to those who know you in the RV community as is evident by the beautiful words and sentiments of your readers. May God give you and your family strength and comfort.
I am so sorry for your loss. Safe travels. I will keep you in my prayers for several weeks to come as you process all that you are going through. Rely on God and his strength and you will be able to get through what lies ahead.
Nina, Very sorry for your loss. Sending healing thoughts your way.
I am so sorry for your loss…wishing you a safe journey and sending you lots of love as you join your sister and brother in saying goodbye….
Sending warm thoughts and gobs of courage as you face this journey. Treasure the memories. The healing will come in time. Best wishes to Paul and the paws as they hold down the fort while you do what you need to do.
Our hearts are with you.
Sorry for your loss my father passed away in his sleep and it was a blessing he did not die in a hospital bed this is the same for your mother .
You’re going to be numb for a while that’s normal but you’ll pull through you’re going to go through stages don’t fight them just go along with that and you’ll be just fine it’s our body’s way of getting us through life-changing events.
So sorry about your loss. You and your family are in our thoughts.
I can only echo the comments of all your blog followers who offer their sympathy at this difficult time in your life. I too lost my mother at what I thought was a relatively young age, 64, to Lou Gehrig’s Disease. I am relieved to hear your mother did not suffer like that. This was 20 years ago and I am still missing her. It does get some better with time but I found being a motherless child is difficult to adjust to. I will keep you in my heart as you try to make your way through this very dark tunnel.
Oh Nina, I’m so sorry. Your post brought tears to my eyes, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but know that you are not alone, with Paul and your siblings and your friends and the RV community that loves you so so much. Lots of hugs and sympathy. xoxo
Nina, I am so sorry. I hope that you have time to recount good memories while you are in France. I will keep you in my thoughts. Much love to you, Paul, and the pets.
I’m sorry for your loss. I salute your for your courage in processing the feelings that arise during this time. We all know shutting down is easier but not healthier. We’ll be here when you return whether you feel like talking to us about it or not. I’m confident you will come through this tough time well.
May the good times and memories of your Mother help you through the days ahead. You have my deepest condolences for the loss of your Mother.
Мои соболезнования
Very sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in the wonderful memories you have of your mother.
Deepest condolences on your loss. Words are never quite sufficient. My sad heart beats with yours.
Virtual hugs,
Judie
Take as long as you need… your wonderful Wheeling It blog audience will wait. The support from your readers is amazing… powerful… the love and sympathy palpable. So many hearts and hands holding you up right now, till you can stand again on your own.
Deepest regards,
Box Canyon Mark
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
So very sorry to hear about your Mom, I lost mine way too soon when she was 49. The blessing is, as you say, no prolonged suffering….that is so to be hoped for. Know your time with family will be healing….then back to the healing of Paul, the lighthouse and pets….and maybe some brews!
Nina, Sorry to hear of your loss, it’s always devastating when we lose someone but it always seems to hit hardest when its mum or dad, you always think they’ll be there for ever even when you know in reality it’s impossible. As the saying goes, time heals all things and for some things it takes a loooong time! I hope the pain isn’t too hard to bear for too long.
As many condolences as you have here it looks like you are loved by many, be cheered by that, we may not be able to hug or personally console you but you are in our hearts and thoughts.
I’m so sorry, Nina. Be strong…
Are deepest condolences to you and your family. May time work swiftly in your time of sadness.
Good luck Brother.
We’re so sorry for your loss. It’s good that her last day here was filled with love in the form of a phone call from you and time spent in her garden.
Take care of yourself.
Juley
Nina, today we weep with you. So sad for your loss.
So sorry Nina. Take your time with the best memories of your mum.
I am so sorry. Losing your Mom just puts a hole in your heart. Mine’s been gone since 1991 and I still miss her voice and the Sunday phone calls. Take care of yourself.
Nina, so sorry for your loss.
Nina, We are so sorry for your loss. The death of a parent is never easy, but it can be much harder. From your description, there was no prolonged agony, for your mother or for her loved ones. That alone can be a blessing. We are in Carrabelle Beach and just met Paul’s parents. Nice people! Our prayers and thoughts are with you as you move through this troubled time.
Marc & Jimmie Kay
Nina, my sympathy on the loss of your mother. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute with us. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. We’ll all be here when you’re ready to return.
Vicki
Our hearts are with you Nina as your grieve the loss of your mother. I recently lost my father and found the process of writing his obituary a very comforting experience. You are a marvelous writer and perhaps that skill can help you now. Peace
Nina, Big hugs to you and our deepest sympathy. You will always have her in your memories. It was good to hear she passed in her sleep and that you had recently talked to her. I can only imagine what a big gap this will leave in your life.
Take care and remember to smell the roses. Your mom would like that.
Susan & Bob
Sorry for your loss. I have loss both of my parents and miss them very much. As time passes you will find that you will feel at times that they are still with you, in spirit. I believe in God and believe that we will see them again and believe that where they are is much better than this crazy world we live in. I wish you a safe trip and know you have a lot of followers praying for you.
Blessings to you. Thank you for sharing.
lisa
Both my parents are gone & I know about the dark places of which you speak. Stay close to nature & embrace her healing powers.
Nina, my heart goes out to you and Paul. Your post today brought tears to my eyes while reading it as I am sure you had tears writing it. Even though we have never met my heart and love goes out to both of you. Safe travels.
So, so sorry for the loss of your mother. I pray for peace in your heart and for the repose of your mother’s soul. Prayers for you and your family.
The angels are with you.
I am sorry to hear about your mother passing. My deepest sympathy goes to you and your family.
Our thoughts are with you.
Janet and Richard
Nina, Peace be with you during this difficult time. And may you find comfort in your journey home.
Love is special – you can’t turn it on and off like a light switch no matter what. You don’t have to remember love, it’s just there – you keep the memory alive just in thought, just by continuing to love them. Some days might be busy so they aren’t in your head every second, but at certain times, or when certain songs play, on certain dates of the year – the memory can’t help but happen. Please accept my heartfelt condolences and hope that the treasure of memories will help you through this difficult time.
Nina – I’m so sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences. I have a difficult relationship with my mom and have no idea how I will react when the time comes. I hope I have as much grace as you. Take care of yourself, and may your mother rest in peace. (I love the way you wrote about what happens after we die. I believe the same, and you put it beautifully.)
From everyone in the RV fraternity I would like to extend our most heartfelt condolences. Think of your mother often, I know I do and it always brings a smile to my face. Miss her deeply.
I finished a move out of my house and was without internet, so just read your beautiful, sad post. You have a big hole in your heart, but it is because of the words, photos, and sharing of your soul that I moved forward after the death of my father and bought my RV. I know your next few weeks will be filled with sadness, joy from the sharing of memories, and seeing people you haven’t seen in years. Little pieces of your heart will begin to fill this big hole over time. Sending you cyber hugs and prayers on your long journey.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s never easy, especially when it is unexpected. Grieve now and know it gets better with time.
Just read this blog post Nina. Amanda and my thoughts are with you, Pia, Bo and your father. I have very fond memories of your mum, Karin RIP.
Much love
I join in all the others in wishing you safe travels….and with the hope that memories of special times with your mom will in some way help to bridge the gap you will no doubt feel. Your ‘blog family’ shares your grief -as your loss reminds us of our own losses -and of how life, certainly, is fleeting.
Nina, deepest sympathies on the passing of your mother. Safe travels.
Tom and Bev
So sorry for your loss ! I know how you feel. I lost my mom 24 years ago and I was in tears when I was reading your blog which you wrote so beautifully . Safe travels ! Zsuzsa
My deepest condolences. Light and Blessings.
So sorry for this loss in your life. Even though we expect it that doesn’t make it easier to handle. May the strength of your family together make this easier for you. Be well and keep that image of your mother’s free spirit dancing in the light.
I’m sorry never seems like the right thing to say. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Nina,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
During your family’s sadness, may you depend on the God of all comfort, Jesus Christ , to take you in His arms and soothe you with His Word.
My prayers are with you,
Bryan
My sincerest condolences, along with a big hug.
— Lois
Prayers for safe travels Nina. Condolences for you and your family @ this very difficult time. Prayers for Paul soloing during this time.
My thoughts are with you. We are dealing with my mother-in-laws health at this time and it is so difficult to see these strong people struggle with their health.
So sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. It is always heartbreaking. Virtual hugs! I would say time heals the loss, but I still feel my mom’s release from this realm as though it were yesterday, not 12+ years ago.
So sorry to hear about your loss. Best wishes.
Nina, and Paul.
I sat to Paul as well, as he is trying to be the rock you hold onto. I too lost both my folks with in a short time last year. I think when my Mom passed, my Dad just died a bit inside, and gave up.
Try to remember that the darkest times come JUST before the dawn, and the light is shed by warm shafts of sunlight into our realm. We cannot begin to understand these things, and even today, I am asking my Mom and Dad in my head what to do.
Shalom my friend
Nina, amidst our condolences, may I say that you write so beautifully, even when overcome with grief… your words are raw, honest and touching. May your heart be healed by nature and time. Take care. Julie
Dear Nina,
I’m sorry you are going through a sad time. You did well with this post, as difficult as it must have been to write it. I missed reading it in a timely manner, thus my lateness in appearing here. I wish you strength, both physical and emotional, during this time. God bless you. Sue
so beautifully written, thanks so much as I forwarded it to my niece who recently lost her Mom.(and my sister)
reading what you wrote helps so much. Never prepared for this loss, no matter how we try. Thankyou and be good to yourself
Nina,
Fair winds…
Roger
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your beautiful post made me cry for the loss of my own mother 12 years ago. You never forget, you just learn to live with it.