How To Become Fluent In French, The Modern Way

Paul has gotten himself a French girlfriend. Well, to be more accurate he’s gotten himself two. He’s deeply immersed in learning French, and since it’s a well-known fact that “going local” is the best way to learn, I can’t say I blame him.
Plus, it’s really my fault….
Back in the youthful splendor of my spring chicken years, I moved to Paris and got a French copain myself. It was a classic French love story, and it did WONDERS for my language skills! By the end of my year in France I was speaking Parisian argot with such a local edge that most locals thought I’d grown up in the city. Paul might have overheard this story, once or thrice.
But that was also over 30 years ago….


Paul’s new girlfriends are a smidgen different. These are modern relationships, reflective of the internet age, and sensitive to the fact that he’s already happily married (although, j’admets, this is La France!). One gal is a edgy Youtuber that he follows on a daily basis, while the other is an Internet language teacher that he takes one-one-one lessons with several times per week. Oh, and if I’m totally honest about it there’s actually THREE women in the mix, since there’s a rather wonderful DJ lady that he listens to on the radio too (I’m rather smitten with her myself…).
Thanks to these lovely ladies he’s improved a ton, and is really enjoying it. I’ve been tagging along for the ride, so my rusty 30-year old French is coming back into shape as well, which means we’re both making progress. It’s a chic way to learn, don’t you think?
All of this is super modern too. Back in the day I did it the “old fashioned” way and (boyfriends aside) there are aspects of that which are still totally valid today. But modern methods have made language learning so much more accessible and, in many ways easier. There has never been a better time to learn a foreign language!
So how DO you learn a language today? What are the secrets to getting fluent (hint: there’s only two)? And which methods should you prioritize? That’s what I’m going to cover in today’s post!
There’s a Difference Between Studying & Fluency

Before I get too far in this whole narrative, I do want to make a little distinction.
When I talk about becoming fluent in French I’m mostly focused on the oral side of the language, as in listening (hearing comprehension) and speaking. You can certainly learn to read and write French extremely well from book or classroom study, and if you want to become a true master of the language those are not details you can skip. However if your goal is primarily to interact fluently with people, then regular school won’t get you there. You will need to practice speaking & hearing the language. It’s a different skill-set that requires a whole different approach.
The Two Secrets To Becoming Fluent In A Foreign Language
I honestly think anyone can learn to speak a foreign language. It’s obviously easier if you’re a kid, or bi-lingual, or you’ve gotten yourself a local lover, but it’s definitely not a requirement. Also, modern tools are great and can really help you along your journey, but there are two old-time secrets that are the basis of everything, and the only things you really need to know. Do these two things, and I guarantee that you’ll become fluent in whatever language you choose:
1/ Speak & Don’t Be Embarrassed To Make Mistakes
No matter how much you book-study a language, the only way to become truly fluent is through verbal practice in the real world, and when you first start doing that, it’s going to be ugly. You might think you know it all in your head, but when you actually try to speak to a real person you’ll mess up! You’ll forget basic vocabulary, you’ll make silly mistakes and {{gasp}} people might not even understand you.

They key is simply NOT TO CARE!
Kids are great at learning new languages primarily because they don’t care if they sound silly when they try to express themselves, so they just do it. As adults we’re so terribly worried about sounding “stupid” that we often hold ourselves back, which means we never properly progress. The hard truth is that practice is the only way to fluency, and mistakes are simply part and parcel of that process. It’s how you learn and it’s how you progress.
So you simply have to find a way to get over the embarrassment. Ask questions, stumble through, supplement with hand signals, and have a sense of humor about it...just do whatever you need to do, but keep speaking and keep practicing. If you are willing to do this you’ll be amazed at how quickly you progress!
2/ IMMERSE Yourself Fully In The Language
The other key to fluency is to be willing to immerse yourself completely into your new language, and the more immersion you can do, the better. So start taking language lessons, watch foreign TV, listen to foreign radio, read foreign language books, change your phone/computer operating systems, make foreign language friends….and yeah, maybe even get a local lover! ALL these things will rapidly progress your language mastery, and the more you do them, the faster you’ll progress.
Classic Ways To Study (With A Modern Twist)
So how do you bring all this together into a modern plan?
Well when I moved to Paris back in the day, there was really only one way to study a language, and that was to take a regular classroom course at a regular school. Schools are still great ways to learn and I’m certainly not going to tell you otherwise. They teach you the basics such as proper grammar, conjugation and other important details. So if you have the ability to take classroom lessons at places like Alliance Française, or at your local school or college, definitely do so.
However, these days there are other options which can help speed up your learning process immensely:

Immersion Courses – A modern twist on the “regular classroom” is to fly to the country you’re interested in and take an intensive immersion course. These run anywhere from a few weeks to multiple months and involve COMPLETE 24/7 language immersion, often with a home stay and (sometimes) work or activities included. They are somewhat pricey, but they are INTENSE and guaranteed to get you to a decent fluency level in a short time. If you can’t actually go live in the country, this is the next best thing. Read more about immersion courses HERE.

YouTube – I can’t deny that YouTube has changed the world. We loved YouTube back in our RV days, but we re-discovered a whole other aspect to it when we started learning French. Mon Dieu, language lessons have exploded on YouTube!! These days there are TONS of YouTubers teaching foreign languages, catering to anything from newbie-level to mid-level (like us) or even soon-to-be-experts. Most of them are free, although many also offer additional paying courses. And they’re honestly great! We’ve been following a few different channels including Learn French With Alexa (perfect for beginners), and Français Authentique (great for intermediate-level), but our absolute fav is Comme Une Française with Géraldine (she also has a website HERE). Not only is she a spunky, and super engaging presenter, but she concentrates on real, modern-day spoken French rather than the dusty text-book stuff.

One-On-One Internet Lessons – Not close to a school, or don’t fancy driving to classroom lessons? Then, get yourself a one-one-one teacher online! This option was definitely not around back in my youth, but it’s become an awesome, super modern way to learn a language. Paul discovered italki around a month ago, connected with a certified French teacher that he really likes and has been taking regular lessons ever since. It’s inexpensive (only ~$15-30 per session), easy to use (video chat) and wonderfully personalized. Plus you can usually trail run a teacher for a reduced price (to try them out), and then buy cheaper bulk lessons if you like them thereafter.
Exchange Time With Native Speakers – Another twist on taking teacher-led lessons is to exchange time with someone who is trying to learn your language. So, for example if you’re trying to learn French, you could look to connect with a native French speaker who is trying to learn English. Then you simply get together and exchange time, say 30 mins speaking 100% in French with 30 mins speaking 100% in English. It’s a great way to practice speaking the language without the formal setting of a classroom or teacher. Plus it benefits both parties and is usually FREE! There are plenty of online sites that offer this ability (italki does, for example), or you can find (or start!) a local club by advertising in your local area too.

Join Local Clubs, Volunteer Activities & Fêtes- Another great way to immerse yourself in a new language is to join clubs or do activities that are conducted 100% in the language you want to learn. So, for example if you’re living in France you can go down to your local Mairie (town hall) and ask what kinds of activity groups are in the area. Most French towns have hiking and/or biking groups, volunteer activities (for local festivities, or animal rescues), and various sports clubs. Plus almost EVERY town in France (especially in the countryside) host regular town Fêtes, where you can sit down and partake in a lunch or evening meal with the locals. They’re a great way to get to know your neighbors while at the same time immersing yourself in French. If you’re not living in France look for a French club that operates in or near your area. Meetup.com is a great resource for this.
Supplement By Reading & Listening To French
Putting yourself in situations where you are forced to speak a foreign language is absolutely key to gaining fluency (IMO there’s simply no way around this), but you can certainly supplement your learning by both reading & listening to French. It won’t help your fluency in speech per say, but it will definitely improve your listening comprehension and your vocabulary. So I consider it part of the “immersion process”, just on a 2nd tier level. Here’s some of our fav ways to do this:
Change Your Operating Systems – Did you know you can switch the operating system on your phone or PC to a foreign language with just a few clicks? It’s instant French (or whatever other language you want), right in front of you all day long. Give it a try.

Listen to French Radio – If you live in France you’ll be listening to French radio everyday. It’s “background French” that seeps into our sub-consciousness, and I do think it helps us improve! The cool thing is that you don’t have to be in France to do this. Thanks to the wonder of modern internet radio, you can tune into French radio anytime, from anywhere you please for FREE. And we’ve found perfect station for you! FIP Radio is simply speaking THE BEST radio station we have found…ever! We’re fans of eclectic music and FIB does an outstanding job of this, playing everything from swing jazz to classical, rock and international. In the 4 months we’ve been listening to them, I don’t think they’ve re-played a single song once! Plus the French lady who DJ’s has one of the most soothing and relaxing voices I’ve ever experienced. Go Listen to it now!

Watch French TV & Shows (Without The Subtitles, If You Can) – There are so many great French shows & movies on the internet these days. Just fire up Netflix, or whatever other streaming service you use and do a search for foreign cinema. You’ll have a ton of choice. The nice thing about online French shows is that most of them come with English sub-titles which make them easy to understand & great for beginners. However that’s also one of their main drawbacks. Even though my understanding of French is pretty darn good, whenever subtitles are turned on, I find myself tuning out the spoken French and reading the subtitles instead. I simply can’t help it! If you’re a true beginner you’ll obviously need them, but once you get to a certain level of French I recommend trying to turn them off. It’ll force your brain to concentrate on the spoken word and will improve your comprehension, even if you don’t understand it all at the time.

Read French Books (But Find Modern Ones) – There’s no doubt reading books can help you improve in a language, and finding French books either online (or even in bookstores) is pretty easy no matter where you live. However for learners of the language, the biggest issue with written French literature, if you don’t happen to know, is that classic written French actually uses several verb tenses (e.g. passé simple, passé antérieur, imparfait du subjonctif etc.) which are no longer used in spoken French. Yup, French actually has around 20 different verb tenses and some of them only exist in classic text! That’s great if you want to become a master of the language, but horribly confusing if you’re just trying to learn to speak. So look for modern books (e.g. Paul’s French teacher suggested Harry Potter) which use contemporary French instead. Oh and for extra immersion points, buy the audio version of the book as well as the written one. That way you can read, and listen along at the same time.
DO Buy A Few “Basic Conjugation/Grammer/Verb” Books – As a supplement to all your modern-day learning I do think it is worth buying a few classic French books, as reference (and perhaps the odd night you need help falling asleep). In my opinion nothing beats Bescherelle for this. They were the classic book when I lived in Paris back in the day, and they’re still the classic book today.

Online & App-Based Translators
As a Tertiary supplement to your language learning process, you’ll probably want a good online or app-based translator. These can’t replace the hard work of speaking & immersing yourself in French, but they can certainly be great support mechanisms, helping you to look-up vocab or finding out how to express certain things along the way. Here’s a few to consider:
Google Translate – Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past 10 years, you’ve probably already heard about Google translate. It supports more than 100 languages and can even translate 37 languages via photo (for example, if you snap a pic of a sign in a foreign country and want to know what it says). It’s well-known and easily accessible, but honestly we haven’t found it to be the best online translator. It often gets stuff wrong, and doesn’t catch the context of many common spoken things. We actually don’t use it much anymore.

Linguee – If you’re looking for a GREAT French-English dictionary, try Linguee! The beauty of this site (and App) is that it not only translates a given word, but also provides multiple examples of how that word is used in a spoken (or written) sentence. Plus if you download the App, you can use it offline too. Paul’s teacher recommended this one, and it’s become our firm favorite.

Deepl – If you’re translating full text (e.g. sentences or documents) & want to take a step up from Google, try Deepl. Once again, this was recommended by Paul’s teacher and it’s become another of our firm favorites. It does a great job of capturing the real context of a given sentence or text, as well as translating it into something that native speakers would actually recognize.
There’s many more translators out there (e.g. BabelFish, Translate.com, SDL Translation etc.), but the above are the ones we use.
And Finally – Stuff We Don’t Find That Useful
There’s lots we don’t use and obviously it would be silly to cover it all, but there are two particular (and very popular) language learners that we’ve both tried multiple times & just haven’t really enjoyed that much. So I do want to mention them:

Rosetta Stone – I’ve always wanted to love the Rosetta Stone software, I really have. We bought it when we moved to Belgium (for French, back in the day), then we bought it again when we moved to Asia (for Mandarin this time) and I bought it a third time when I was trying to learn Spanish. So we tried….we really did. I don’t know if it’s just me or the way I learn, but I never seemed to be able to progress past the blocky nature of the software lessons into actual speaking usage. If you’re a book or read-learner, this may be more useful to you than it was for me.

DuoLingo – Duolingo has grown to become one of the most popular language learning software products out there, in no small part because it’s online and FREE to use, so the attraction is very strong indeed. I have to say that if you don’t know anything and want to just dabble in a new language (pick up some basic vocab etc.) then it’s a great way to start. But I find it can only take me so far. After a few weeks of use it always gets frustrating to me. I end up repeating modules and never really feeling like I’m progressing. Sorry Duolingo, I do love that you’re free, but I can’t stay with you for long…
That’s it for today! If you’re about to learn, or in process of learning a new language hopefully I’ve given you a few useful pointers to help you along the way. And, if you have some fav tools that I’ve missed, DO feel free to leave them in the comments below! À la prochaine!
Coming Up Next -> We start looking at European RVs, and we…..{{GULP}} might have bought one? Stay tuned…
Well, Pooh. I bought Babel for Italian, and have used it for about a year now, trying to get ready, but it is not very successful, probably because I am not doing any of the things you suggested, and not even doing the everyday practice thing. I can say a few things, but when speaking to a real Italian, I freeze up, just like you said. So hopefully in Italy, some of it will surface. I guess I’ll find out. And when I get back home, and try to learn Spanish, I try another way.
It’s hard to learn to speak unless you’re able to immerse yourself fully in a language. And that freezing up thing is totally normal too. Using software is a good way to start, especially if you’ve never spoken the language before. And you’ll improve tons when you get to Italy, no doubt, as long as you don’t mind making mistakes. Italians are a lovely lot, and so inviting. You’ll have a blast!
Nina
Great post Nina! We have used Rosetta Stone in our house before for Spanish and Latin. Everyone in our house learns by reading and doing, except me. I learn best by listening. This information is very useful. I am going to look into some of the sites you mention. Thank you.
This is actually a great point. I DO think that people fundamentally learn in different ways, and that’s something I didn’t really address in the post. Book learners are different from oral learners. I think I’m very much like you. I learn by listening, and have a really hard time with the books. That’s probably, in large part, why I’ve never had much luck with the software programs.
Nina
I really like your comment about how kids learn languages. I firmly believe that same is true about their alleged computer skills. I watched a friend’s kid one day when his mom asked how to do something in Microsoft Word. Watching him, he really knew nothing – he simply rapidly ran through all the menus until he clicked on the thing that worked. Like you said, he was unafraid, unlike his mom who I think was afraid she might cause the computer to explode if she hit the wrong key.
I studied French in Junior and Senior High school, and Japanese when I was in my late 20’s at the local community college. I was traveling to Jpan on business a lot, and they were visiting us so I got a lot of practice in with real speakers, before the internet. We went to Japan for vacation ( best vacation ever my wife said, even though she speaks no Japanese ) about year ago. I tried Duolingo to get back some of my Japanese, but I found it a bit too simplistic. Also ( they may have fixed this now ), you had to do each lesson in their order. I found that really annoying, since I really wanted “tourist” vocabulary. I had to go through lessons on family interaction ( words for your mother, my mother, you aunt, etc. ) to get to ordering food in a restaurant. I guess I would try it again, but I will look into the stuff you have here. I also found a great dictionary app that had a really clever way to enter kanji characters. Sorry, I can’t find it’s name right now. I think it was free.
When we went to France a few years ago I used the Accio app for a dictionary . I am excited to try Linguee.
You’re totally right about the kids thing. It’s true in everything they learn from languages to computers to dance. Another example for you…when I was a kid we moved from Denmark to Asia, and I started learn to English for the first time. At first I couldn’t sort the languages out, so I went through a year or so period where I spoke a complete mish-mash of Danish/English that made almost no sense at all. My parents were pretty embarrassed, but I didn’t care and I eventually sorted it all out.
And yup, you had exactly the same experience with Duolingo as I did. They have improved the modules a bit, but I still find it terribly frustrating to use.
Oh and Kanji….oh me, oh my. The written language of Japanese, Chinese etc. is an entire study in and of itself. It’s an impressive feat to learn it.
Nina
Great post and very helpful and informative….My experience with Rosetta Stone was just like yours…I through it away….I will have to explore what is available if we want to learn a language right here in the US of A…
I SO wanted Rosetta Stone to work for me. It did help us get started in Mandarin, back in the day, and it was helpful at first for Spanish, but I found it could only take me so far. I just got too frustrated with it. We never finished any of their courses.
Nina
If you want an immersion experience before you leave the USA check out Concordia Language Villages. Concordia hires native speakers as staff. We sent out daughter there several summers and her high school French teacher complimented her on her accent. They offer experiences for adults, too.
Great tip! Cheers for that.
Nina
Nina, you are such a fantastic writer and well organized in the way you convey so much information. This particular post is quite timely for me as Linda and I will be moving to Europe to travel early next year.
I gave Duolingo a go and, like you, I didn’t feel like I was making progress. I am currently using Rosetta Stone and actually do find it useful but I agree that immersion is the only way to truly learn.
I appreciate all the resources you included in your post. It has saved me a ton of time in my own research and will be invaluable as we make our transition from the States.
Glad it’s helpful! And continued good progress to you with the language learning. It can be frustrating and can hurt your brain sometimes, but it’s so fulfilling to do.
Nina
Ann and I, planning an October journey to France, have been immersing in Duolingo. This essay is perfectly timed for us! Good luck with the new camper!
Excellent! Didn’t know you were coming over!! Where will you land?
Nina
I sit here in rainy VA, green with envy as you enjoy (mostly) sunny France. Congratulations on your gutsy move. One thing to appreciate in an immersion program is that, at some point, your ears may become “desperate” to hear your native tongue and to speak to someome in that language. I was, briefly, an ESL instructor, and our trainer reminded us that new language learners become very fatigued after several hours of struggling to communicate. As I observed my students during breaks, I found this to be very true. They couldn’t wait to communicate easily with someone who could actually understand them and reciprocate in kind.
Oh I totally connect with that! I often call it “brain pain”, when your brain starts to hurt after too much effort in a foreign language. It’s soooo nice and easy to speak English after I’ve been immersed in French for a while. Zero effort. I like the idea of “relieving” your brain every now and then. Good tip!
Nina
It sounds like you’re getting comfortable in your new digs after the hectic months(many) you’ve weathered. I’m happy for you guys. I’ve recently retired, and although our original plan was to full time RV, we opted on leaving the Central Coast of California for the wild of the Greater Yellowstone region, moving to the Teton Valley in Idaho. We’re planning(my wife doesn’t know yet) a trip to France in the Spring, probably for two-three weeks. One of my favorite musicians plays there frequently and is scheduled sometime in March. Our son, a musician, will be touring as well. I’m not sure what kind of music you like, but you should explore Dhafer Youssef’s music.
What would you recommend as a primer in order to just get by as we certainly won’t have enough time to dig deep into the language.
CHEERS for the tip on the music. We will definitely check it out.
As a basic primer I recommend Duolingo. I know I said in the post we don’t use it, but when you’re first starting out I think it’s an easy, free way to get some basics. Once you get past a certain stage I’d go to YouTube and check out some of the teachers there.
Nina
Thanks so much. We pulled the trigger and will be heading to London at the end of November for ten days with a short jaunt to Caen, France for three days. Look forward to reading about your European RV research. I’ve had a 39′ Class A for ten years but am considering downsizing. Will be interested in your thoughts. BTW, if you’re close to Caen in November it would be awesome to finally meet you, and possibly enjoy a glass of wine together.
R/
Caen is gorgeous, but the opposite side of the country from us. We’ll likely still be messing around down south when you get here, so we won’t be close. Enjoy your trip!
Nina
Having lived in California my whole life I am embarrassed to say I never learned Spanish. Your two points are so right on – not doing them is the key to repeated failure!
How fun to be learning (and re-learning) while living in the language.
It’s so easy in California to speak English since literally everyone does, so the incentive to learn Spanish is low, even though so many folks speak it there too. In truth, we went through the same thing when we lived in Hong Kong. We attempted to learn Cantonese, but only managed to acquire a really, really basic level. It was too easy to speak English, plus we needed Mandarin for work (rather than Cantonese) and learning both was just too much, so it just fell by the way-side.
Nina
Might I suggest another source for language learning.
“Fluent Forever” by Gabriel Wyner. Extraordinary author with a different twist on language learning.
This is a link to his website.
https://fluent-forever.com/
Cheers for the tip!
Nina
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We used Rosetta Stone when we lived in Mexico, and I agree, it only took us so far. We immersed ourselves in classes while there, which helped considerably, although we never became fluent. We were told by a local that starting by reading children’ books was also helpful, and it was. I never thought to look into YouTube videos. Google Translate helps us considerably when we traveled through Patagonia.
Funny you should mention children’s books. We bought a lot of comic books last time we lived in Europe (BD = Bande Dessinée) and they were great for learning French. Didn’t help the spoken side much, but a fun way to improve reading and comprehension.
Nina
Thank you so much for your generous sharing. French is a beautiful romance language that I’d like to learn next. How nice if I can live in a French town for a real immersion. I love romance languages and am trying to pick up Spanish currently. I have just moved to Asia due to work and I believe learning a new languages will help increase my chances. I am always after speed learning since time is in shortage. I chose Spanish first because it sounded easy. Your practical tips will definitely help me. To add to your, I recently found a few others from https://bridgesa.net/learn-spanish.html. Cheers.