Goodbye, Dear Heart (Polly, 2009-2026)
Pre-post Note/ It’s been years I know, but I feel that Polly deserves a proper goodbye, and that all of you who followed her and us so faithfully for so very long (I cannot express how much that means to me) deserve to know. This is for her, for you, and for the three paw musketeers that started this whole crazy journey with us, and are now together again. It’s the end of an era, the end of a big part of my heart, but such is life, right?
We got Polly’s ashes back yesterday. It feels so strange to hold a whole life in your hand, and utterly surreal to know it has ended, but it’s also deeply comforting to have her home.
She is still with us of course in every corner of the house, staring at us from the door because it’s two seconds after lunch time (“come on, mom, what are you doing?”), lying coiled like an electric spring on the floor waiting for those magical words (“shall we go for a walk, Polly?), pushing her cold nose into our faces in the morning to wake us up (it was hard work keeping us all on track, I tell you), cocking her head to the side to take in every precious word we said.
Everyone says this of their pets of course, but Polly really was the best dog that ever lived, and although the pain of losing her is almost more than I can bear, there is not a life where I wouldn’t chose to be with her all over again.
She didn’t have the easiest of starts….
In mid 2009 two mangy, starved pups were dumped at the dog rescue overnight and the next morning an e-mail went out to all the volunteers.
“Can someone take these pups as a foster? They won’t survive the day in the rescue”
I don’t know what came over me in that moment, but somehow I just knew. I said yes right away, mentioned something in passing to Paul (who was on a conference call at the time) on the way out the door about fostering some pups (I heard “yes”, most definitely), and then just drove like a mad-woman with a singular purpose. There was Polly and her sister, teeny as my hand, almost no fur, sick, scared and helpless. I scooped them up and assured them “You’re ok now, you’re going on a big adventure”. Paul must have gotten confused somewhere along this very-planned-out-and-very-clear exercise because he called me as I was on the way home.
“Where are you?”
“Getting the puppies, of course” (duh)
“Whaaaat puppies……?.”
Inevitably of course the little pooping, eating machines merged themselves into our life, and within weeks we knew we would be foster fails. There were the horrible sulfur baths (for the mange), de-worming, the never-seem-to-end potty training, the crazy runs followed by completely exhausted pups who just fell asleep like light switches being turned off. But man, were they heart-stoppingly cute!!! The cats naturally, were only mildly amused, although they eventually accepted the pups much like they would a change in furniture, as long as they were in charge of course. The love…that came much later, as cat love must be earned as you all know.
After some months Polly’s sister was adopted by some folks we knew very well (she lived a great life BTW), so now Polly was ours…all ours. There was only one catch. She was the cutest little bubble of a thing, but she was literally terrified of everything.
A leaf that blew across the ground (OMG), people (horrible), noises of all kinds (this world is out to kill me). She barked and barked. I decided right there and then I needed to become a dog trainer because naturally, even at just a few months of age, she was already deciding our future. So I joined a course, studied and practiced, and Polly became part of all that, training and serving as a decoy dog for other aggressive dogs. Slowly but surely she gained a confidence beyond her years. She learned sign language (something that became essential when she went deaf later in life), looked to us for guidance, and developed a genuine, active curiosity about the world. I like to say Polly became Polly during this time, a fearless dog that would always amaze anyone who met her.
“What kind of dog is she?” would always be the first question.
A dog so stunningly handsome, so self-assured, so incredibly well-behaved must be something special and rare.
“Oh, she’s a rescue mutt” would always be my answer, “rescue dogs are always the best”. I really meant that.
When she was a mere 6 months old we bought the RV, the very first RV I ever walked into, a mostly-impulse purchase that would become the core of our lives for the next 10 years. Polly slotted into this new life like a glove, and together with the cats we started to explore the amazing US.
Y’all know what happened next, those of you that have followed us all these years, and for Polly it was a never-ending exciting adventure. New places to sniff, new vistas to explore. At a year old, she saw snow for the first times (crazy run time!), just a few months later she hiked 10 miles in the Sierra Nevada mountains. She ran up and down the slopes like a mountain goat, scouting the trail ahead, running back to make sure her pack was staying together, doing at least twice the miles we did.
The latter became a life-long job for her, the guarding of the pack that is. She always knew exactly where we all were at all times, including the cats. There were afternoons in the western desert where I’d let everyone out and Taggart (always her) would go exploring somewhere I didn’t see. All I needed to do would be to turn to Polly and ask “where’s Taggart?”, and off she’d go to show me. It was a serious job, you know.
We cross-countried to Florida, which Polly found very strange (“why can’t I swim in the lakes here?), came back west, spent years exploring up and down the coastline. Polly became a beach dog, never more excited than when she got to run big circles in the sand. She hiked trails, went to breweries with us, explored forest and national parks. She saw hundred of balloons go into the sky in Albuquerque, NM, took in a sunrise in the Grand Canyon, admired lighthouses (so many), walked the streets of New York City (yeah, baby), and felt the leaves drop as the colors changed in Maine. Wherever we went, she went, and for us it was never even a question.
We didn’t limit our travels to dog friendly places because of Polly, we explored with her because every experience was enriched by having her there.
There were some rough times of course, sick times, especially the time she ruptured her ACL in Oregon (and later the second knee in France). But each time Polly took it like a champ, and somehow even that ended up being a new adventure. Traveling to Idaho for surgery and then rehab, learning to run again, teaching us that every obstacle is but a blip in the overall. If we could all be like Polly, we would be very self-enlightened beings indeed.
When she was a mature girl, a healthy 10 years old, our paths took a new direction and we moved to Europe.
Once again, Polly led the way and took in this new experience like the exciting adventure it was. She became French, quite literally with her new Pet Passport, and then proceeded to conquer the hearts of everyone she met from Spain, to Denmark and Italy. There are few dogs I would say that have walked the Sierra’s in both California and Spain, even fewer that have explored both New York and Rome, but such was the life of our amazing companion. We got a new, smaller RV (LMB), packed all three paws in it and explored all over again, slower this time (as the cats were aging), but with purpose and time.
In 2020 at the beginning of COVID and that surreal time both our feline paws left us. It was heart-breaking, but as usual it was Polly that pulled us through.
She loved everything about our European life, just as she loved everything before. The morning walks down the street, meeting doggie friends everyday, snow in winter, the hot sunshine in summer, and the in-between travels to unseen and very-very-exciting places. She even got two new little kitty loves in her life, and one of them (Maya) glued to her and copied everything she did. Polly was only mildly amused, much as our first cats were back in the day, but Maya and Polly became inseparable from then on. Love can blossom at any age.
Sadly however, slowly but surely time took it’s toll, as it does with all dogs.
They grace our lives with such intensity and unabandoned love, that I think the burning of such brightness can only last a short while. She slowed down gracefully, as beautiful and eager as ever, but as time passed the signs became clear. First she became deaf, then her walks got shorter and her bushy, expressive tail (the one that always curved so tall and talked so much) stopped working. Eventually the legs gave out. Her eyes never dimmed though, not even on the last day. She knew of course, she must have known with all the faff and crying going on, but she looked at us with that deep love, with that universe of understanding that transcends all space and time, to comfort us through it all (“It’s OK mom and dad, it’s OK”). She was always the best of us all.
The world is dimmer and heavier now, without a doubt.
Maya, her sweet love has taken over all dog duties with great seriousness, making sure we get up in the morning, guarding Polly’s bed during the day, going for walks with us and making sure we are never alone (she is the bestest of cats). But there is a gaping hole we can never quite fill, a part of our soul that has gone, and somehow it doesn’t feel right that the world should move on so easily from a being that was so very much the core of ours.
Those of you who know will understand.
She had almost 17 incredible years with us, an amazing amount for any dog, and we were so very incredibly lucky to be her parents, yet I still can’t help but mourn her loss. I know she’s still here of course, not just her ashes by my desk, but her spirit in mine, and one day I’ll get to see her again coiled up like an electric spring waiting for me to say those magical words
“Shall we go for a walk, Polly?”
Oh, how exciting that day will be…
Wow-Every once in a while I wonder what you’re up to?!? Your letter brings a tear to my eyes. In my life I’ve had to part with so many furry lives but I don’t think any did as much in adventuring as your Polly. I feel your grief but as I’m sure you know time will soften the edges, the cats will help fill the now gaping hole. I send lots of love and wish you fond memories and the making of new ones!!
JudyB
What a beautiful tribute to your awesome Polly. And all of the pictures were so very perfect. Thank you for sharing your sorrow with us. The quote I kept thinking of when we lost our Polly, a 13 year old Rhodesian Ridgeback (also a rescue dog, they ARE the best) was this one: “Having a dog will give you some of the happiest days of your life, and one of the worst.” I still shed tears over our dear Radley and it’s been almost a year and a half since we said goodbye. Hoping you find joy in these beautiful memories, Polly will always be a part of you you are.
I’m seldom reduced to tears. RIP Polly and love to Nina and co
Dave, formerly into RV’s in west USA but now back to dull boring bricks and mortar in UK
Sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful tribute to Polly and those of us who followed your adventures together thank you for thinking of us. I, for one, miss your prose and have wondered what you all are up to in France. I have missed your updates!
My heart goes out to you and Paul. I know your pain and I hurt for you. You gave Polly such a wonderful life and you were the best of dog parents.
Dear Nina and Paul –
We know your loss and send waves of light and warm hugs as there are no words I can share that will bring comfort. just two hearts here, understanding yours – Imkelina and Michael
So sorry for your loss!!
I’m so sorry. Polly was such a sweet precious dog. I’ve been there before, and now have two aging dogs myself and know it’s coming again in the not to distant future. May God give you the strength to endure through these hard hard times.
It truly is a miracle – the lives and loves of our 4-legged family. I cried for Polly and for our lab Jackson who left us after traveling full-time with us in our motorhome. Such a gift, but hard to let them go. You wrote a lovely tribute worthy of your Polly. Hugs to you!
A beautiful tribute to your very special fur baby Polly. She truly had such a wonderful life with you and Paul.
Linda and Mike Dawkins
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful tribute to Polly. I’ve enjoyed watching her through your photos and stories over the years and continents. What an epic dog life she lived!
Thank you, Nina, for your update. What a beautiful tribute. I’m sorry for your loss. Polly sounds like an amazing dog. I laughed and cried while reading your post. I know what it’s like to lose a much loved pet. Though we didn’t have our cat, Dini, nearly as long as you had Polly. But I know they can really get under your skin, so to speak.
Thank you for this lovely tribute to Polly which brought tears to my eyes. You two were amazing parents. I know quite well how it is to lose a pup and it’s devastating. With warm thoughts to you, Kris Sullivan
Los Angeles
We are so very sorry Nina and Paul, to hear about the loss of your lovely Polly. We met you and Polly many, many years ago in California And have been following your travels ever since.
We also recently lost our Nico only at age 10. Despite the fact that it has already been six months, we still miss him so much. However, a new little puppy has been born and will be joining us in early March. As we are in our mid 70s, I’m hoping she will outlive us as I don’t think we can go through another loss of man’s best friend.
Vi tænker på jer. Eva og David
Hello to you both,
I know how this feels. Lost my heart dog Baxter 9 yrs ago. I still miss him.
What a great tribute to Polly!!!
I just watched a YouTube video from your friends, technomatic,they are back in Benson for awhile. I now live close by.
Take care of yourselves and thanks for your post.
Pets are our family and we grieve deep when they are lost to us. How fortunate Polly left you with so many wonderful smiles to reflect on, even though the heart hurts when remembering. Thank you for thinking of us, who have followed your travels. Best always to you and yours.
I totally understand, being a dog mom of now 8 rescues, they were and are the light of my life,
Woofs n Paws,
Barbara and the pack
Polly was such a wonder, so glad she came into your life. I loved seeing the photos of her and thankful for a chance to say goodbye. My heart goes out to you and Paul and hope your memories provide solace.
So sorry to hear of Polly’s passing, but what a life she had in those 17 years, visiting/living in so many different places. I was wondering this past month where you and Paul were, not having seen any communication from you in a long time. Yes, life goes on and I do hope all is well with you wherever you are. After almost 20 years since we had to put down our English bulldog we now have an Alaskan Klee Kai who turned one in Dec. He is such a fun affectionate boy with lots of energy and a big personality. Take care.
My condolences on your loss…
Ah, Nina. Steven & I are really sorry to hear this news about Polly. We know she was everything to you and Paul and know how blessed you were to have had so many years to enjoy her love and companionship. She was a pup for the ages! We are really so sorry for your loss. Much love to you both, L & S.
❤️
Thank you for letting all of us who have followed your adventures, human and furry,.Yes, it is so hard for us when our beloved pets come to their lifes end, but their love,joy and spirit stays within us until our time is up too.
Funny, that it has been just recently I thought about you and was wondering where you were and why the blogs had been missing for quite some time. I pray your adventures and roads traveled are continuing and expanding your horizons and hearts.
Dear Nina,
What a beautiful and moving tribute you wrote. I have tears in my eyes. Yes, she was a very special dog, but you were also incredible parents. Having discovered your blog in March 2016 and following you ever since, I know very well everything you did for her, the times she was sick, and how much she meant to you.
I am one of those who believes that life doesn’t end when we die, and so I agree with you when you say that you will meet again.
In the meantime take a deep breath and continue to live, comforted by the sweet memories of her existence.
Thank you so much for letting us know about her sad passing and for sharing some moments of her life, with us. The last image is awesome.
A heartfelt hug,
Jorge
So sorry, the pain of losing a pet’s unconditional love and their spirit of “today is a great day!” joy, can not be lessened, but all the wonderful memories you have of her will help. And all your wonderful pictures of those memories will keep her close in your hearts always. Cherish them.
They are never with as long enough, not even 17 years, sorry, that’s how we feel. Polly was a spiritual leader, a friend and so much more, why do I feel that I’ve lost a part of me? She’s not my dog, but that’s how I feel. You are correct, things will never be the same and life Must Go On, and so it will..
See you all at the bridge
I’m so sorry for your loss. Those darn pets! They make us love them so much, and then they leave us behind. She had a great life though. She will be missed.
I’m so sorry about Polly. Thank you for sharing her whole story! I love that you learned dog training to help her get over her fear. (Is there the same training for a rescue cat?) I’ve missed your blog posts! I hope you are still writing since, Nina, your writing is beautiful. My heart is with you both as your hearts heal from the loss of your devoted companion, Polly.
What an absolutely beautiful tribute to Polly, Nina & Paul! We fell in love with Polly, too, as we travelled with all of you over the years. Thank you for again sharing so many of your fabulous Polly photos and adventures together. Take the very best of care of one another & Maya!!
Thank you Nina (and Paul) for sharing your adventures all these years and the updates. I loved that you included Polly in everything you did. She will be forever in your heart. Take solace in the fact that she choose you to be a lifelong partner.
Oh I am so sorry! I know you loved her so much. I had a texting talk with you some years ago about our rescue dog who was very much like Polly. Many of the same personality characteristics of shyness and fear. Willow is also showing her age and we don’t know how much longer she’ll be with us. Thank you for sharing.
Aw, so sorry. Of course I understand. I miss your posts and wonder where you are now and what you’re doing. Thanks for checking in!
Warmest and best wishes to you and Paul, and thank you for sharing this wonderful and heartwarming remembrance. Keep writing and sending photos and updates. This touched me deeply, and thankfully I had a box of tissues nearby as I read it. Take good care.